August 27, 2007

Why I think abstinence only education stinks

Amy Holleman chairs the Young Feminist Committee for SC NOW. She is a volunteer advocate for Sexual Trauma Services of the Midlands, and she also works with groups like RESULTS and the South Carolina Campaign to End AIDS. Amy was recently featured in Skirt! Magazine’s Feminist Issue for the Columbia market.

In a perfect world, or at least a perfect America, kids probably wouldn’t have sex very early, especially not at 11, 12, or 13 years old. In a perfect America, teenagers would know all of the risks associated with sex, how to protect themselves, and would probably wait until they were ready before engaging in sexual activity. Unfortunately, this place isn’t perfect; therefore, I believe we should educate kids and give them the information they need to make the most informed decisions possible regarding their bodies. Teaching kids about sex won’t cause them have sex any earlier or later, but it could save their lives.
We were all teenagers once. We all know what it’s like to feel the hormones rage and feel the pressure from our friends to have sex. Abstinence only education may seem like a sensible fix for things like teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, and it would be if it worked. The truth is, you cannot cure all sexually transmitted infections. Herpes is forever. Certain strains of HPV can cause cervical cancer. HIV can lead to AIDS. Syphilis, left untreated, can cause significant brain damage. Not teaching kids how to protect themselves about these things can kill them. I’m not a parent, but I think if I were, while I may be terribly upset to learn my child was having sex too young, I would rather have my child safer than not.
Thinking back on a conversation I had with some teenagers from a local high school at a young feminists sleepover that a former head of Columbia, SC NOW hosted, I am painfully aware of the misinformation circulating amongst them. Things I was shock to “learn” from these girls (ages 14-17) included, but were not limited to, such things as the following:
- If you have sex but douche immediately afterwards with a regular soda, it will keep you from getting pregnant and will wash away any diseases that you may have contracted (crazy me, I can only imagine that leading to a raging yeast infection).- You can look at a person and tell if they are HIV positive.- You cannot get AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases from anal sex or oral sex. Neither oral sex nor anal sex are sex; therefore, as long as you are not engaging in plain ol’ heterosexual vaginal intercourse, you are engaging in an abstinent lifestyle.- If boys drink a 2-liter Mountain Dew a day for a month, they will be sterile for five (5) years so do not need to use condoms.- Condoms are only for gay men who have sex with strangers at bars.- You have to be 21 to buy condoms.- It is wrong for a girl to ask her boyfriend to use a condom.- It isn’t rape if it is anal sex, and he is your boyfriend, even if you said no.
The list goes on and on, but I think you guys get the point. Those kids, by the way, were from various backgrounds and socioeconomic situations. The things I learned from those girls are prime examples of why abstinence only education is failing our children.